[LOU] Argument between Us

I leaned on the cold metal railing that encircled the platform of the balcony and stared out into the night air. Poetry flooded my mind, most were sweet and loving I'll have to remember to share some with Ryu later... I thought as I relaxed further into the railing enjoying the feeling of being outside and not stuck encased in a box of four walls and a roof for once. It felt nice and free, unlike at home. Why did i still call it that? Home, a word that place was everything but, it was hell that's all. He could go f*** himself because i wasn't going back, i was happy here. It was safe. This is where my real home is.

(Okay let's try this again :'D stupid tab and spacebar wiping out my entire post. God I love that. :')) (One more OCC and then onto posting since I've got time to make up for!! Alright, so since I don't really feel like explaining how Ryu found Lou, I'm going with the theory that she has spidey senses and felt him nearby so that's how. You can invent your own way, point is, she's here now. >)

"Hey," I yawned as I came to stand beside Lou, leaned over the railing looking quite serene. I smiled and decided to rest my head against his shoulder since he was at an easier place (despite his height already being not far from my own). My eyes drifted up into the stars where I began to think. The first thought that meandered it's way into my mind was about home and how long it'd been since I'd been there. It seemed I spent more time here helping Ru with her 'antisocial-angel-who-then-comes-back-and-knocks-her-up issue' which seemed more prominent then staying at home accomplishing nothing. But then again, that seemed the case for everyone here, some with more important issues. Like Lou.
Aiden fell into my mind then and I wondered how he was doing. Hopefully all was well and he was able to get his mom out of there. Or at least they're doing better and it isn't such a struggle. I sighed in frustration, wondering if Lou had thought of that himself for his own mother. He was in the same boat as Aiden, his dad beating the crap out of them. Only difference was, Lou had escape route 2.0. Lou's mom probably didn't.
"Hey Lou," I thought out loud, keeping my head on his shoulder, "when was the last time you went home?"

I shrugged "I don't remember, didn't really plain on going back anyway so i never thought to keep track" I explained, pinching the bridge of my nose, unlike everyone else this was one of my frustration habits, it was more commonly associated with thinking of home, no, that place. I would call it that from now on.

She couldn't know about this little habit of mine considering i'd never brought it up and it was more of a thinking habit for most people anyway. "Why?" I asked, it was a weird and random question. I mean yeah that was Ryu but still she usually had a reason for asking questions like that. My green eyes scanned her face i mentally told my gut to shut the hell up as it was rolling around and clenching and unclenching again and again. Only she could do this to me which sucked but at the same time i didn't mind.

At his answer, his voice was calm but I could tell he was tensing though trying not to. I bit my lip sheepishly hoping this wasn't too touchy of a subject for him considering the last time I pushed the wrong button. I shook the thought from my mind quickly, letting the sickening feel that came go with it.
"Well I was just thinking...you know, maybe you could go back just to visit sometime. I mean, I understand with your dad and all but just to go back...well your mom might appreciate it. At least to check up on her, I think it'd be a good idea." I mumbled, avoiding his gaze the whole time but still reading the scenario carefully the whole time.

I growled lowly snapping my gaze away from her, the light fuzzy feeling in my gut was replaced with hot and heavy anger, hate even. "She can go f*** herself to" I barked "She never did shit for me just stood by and let shit happen even if it was her fault" My knuckles were white as i squeezed the railing trying to relieve the tension but it was only keeping my hands busy as my anger continued to boil as i outwardly thought of my own personal hell.

"And what about you?!" I snapped at her out of frustration and anger "When was the last time you visited home?" I snared the last word. She had one, she knew she could go back to it and nothing would happen, she would be safe and fine. "Don't stand there and tell me what I should do when you haven't even done it yourself" I snorted.

I shot back from him and gave him a look that mixed with shock and anger at his last bit of words. Hell, at 80% of his words. "I was just saying it'd be a good idea to make sure she's okay." I pushed back at the railing, steadying myself straight up so I could distance myself a bit. "Besides, when I am home, my mom isn't anyway. She's out doing her job and the way I see it, the less she has to pay for to take care of me the better it is. Plus there's Ru who apparently you don't give a shit about considering Angel put her through hell and then he knocked her up. So don't call me a hypocrite because all I'm suggesting is you look after someone who needs you in your life. I'm doing that."

I laughed, she was kidding right? Look after that bitch? "Why?" I laughed again, not just laughing at what she said but laughing at her in general before straightening up "Why should I?!" The anger and heat was back at full force "She didn't fucking need me before, I wasn't her son, i was her damn scapegoat. As far as I'm concerned she deserves everything she gets from him and I hope she burns in hell along with him." Venom heavily coated the words. I had disowned them along time ago along with the house they lived in.

"Look I was just making a suggestion because I've known someone who's had a situation similar. So it's kinda pointless for you to get all pissy with me considering I was just trying to offer up an idea." I rolled my eyes now, not too worried about how ticked he was getting. "So calm the f*** down."

I let go of the railing and raised my voice further "Me calm down?! Why don't you calm the f*** down and keep your nose out of other people's shit?!" I boomed jabbing a finger at her but not actually touching her. "I honestly have no fucking idea what I saw in you at all, your just a hypocritical bitch who enjoys digging in other people's lives" My voice lowered a little bit, venom still dripping from every word. It hurt to say them, I felt like she had lead me on played me because i was fucked up. A nasty thought popped into my head at that moment.

I smiled and got in her face, lowering my voice further "And that Aiden whats-his-face," I started, knowing the name would get her attention like a moth to a flame "Well i hope he's dead. Because there was nothing you could do to help him, got that Ry? Nothing you ever did helped anyone and it never will. So keep you nose out of shit because you'll just make it worse" I growled and smirked at her Fuckin' Bitch I thought as the smirk faded and i glared at her.

My eyes stayed asphyxiated on him as he went on, turning each word into a blade and sending it straight my way. Honestly, I'd rather he'd slapped me. I felt the whole world slow as my pulse roared in my ears, my whole body feeling numb. I clenched my fists and shook my head as my lip began to quiver. Tears pooled and blurred my vision which faded red for a second as I held back the demon within, my nails turning black and started to cut the skin of my palms due to how tightly I clenched them. A big breath of air seeped through my teeth which were clenched. All the while I kept my eyes locked. Eventually a broken laugh made it's way through as the hot tears streamed down my face.
"I dont. Give a f*** what you think about me. I don't give a f*** what you think about my choices. I DON'T. FUCKING CARE. If you were to wish ME dead." I smiled, my lips still quivering and my voice wavering with it. I raised a hand and slapped him, looking down for the first time since he spoke, unable to meet his eyes. My actions at this point weren't my own. I was just too hurt to care. "But the moment you say ANYTHING about him or my mother and you're just fucking sick. The one you've got a problem with is right here. So you want to stoop that low, then fucking hit me. I can take it. But shut the f*** up about Aiden."

I snarled, heat rising in my throat like fire. Because that's what it was, fire. My cheek buzzed with a tingling pain that wasn't but was at the same time. I clenched my hands into tight fists raising one to hit her back but freezing before i even swung. The whites of my eyes were now black, my iris' a bloody fire red and two long fangs dipped out from under my lip. My fingernails had lengthened into sharp steel colored claws. I could feel the temperature rising as i started turning now unwillingly. Shit I shouted in my mind, if i would have said it it would have come out as a bark or growl. I lowered my arm, grabbed on to the railing of the balcony and flung myself over it to the lawn.

Despite everything i had said, it was shit, angry, tormented shit that shouldn't have come out. I didn't mean it, i knew i didn't while i was saying it. I didn't think i would end up getting that mad at her I never wanted to hurt her, but I had.

By the time i hit the ground I had landed on all fours and took off running, trying to find a remote area to cool down in. It had been years sense i had completely changed. And as good as being unhinged felt, I hated it. I hated it even more now then ever, because I had changed because i was mad at her. I loved her, she was the only girl i could say that about, and i had ruined it like i did everything else. Great...maybe I am just as bad as she said I was The words echoed through my head like they did the moment she said them. Tears dripped down my fur evaporating due to the heat. I was bad. Just like my Mother said I was.

Once he was gone you'd think the tension would settle in my veins but it didn't. In fact, it just morphed into a different kind of pain. One where after you've been stabbed right where it hurts from a person who knows you well enough to do so, the shock wears off and the blood seeps through your fingertips as you realize, shit. And you're dying. Only difference here was the pain was all there, just not the visible wound.
"Well I hope he's dead." his words echoed through my mind and I started to shake, feeling sick to my core knowing it could be true knowing some of the shit that went down in that house. And like that I went from fighting the tears to letting them come, so hard that I shook with sobs.
I took the nearest thing in reach which was a lamp and slammed it into the clean tiled floors, the shattering sound not satisfying enough, so I looked for another and did it again. I then made my way to the bed where I just flopped down, burying my face into the pillows as I yelled at the top of my lungs a few times until my throat was good and raw. And somehow through the violent haze of my mind, everything shut down as I fell asleep while crying.